


Wasteland Baby

by Theyregonnashowusthewayyy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x09, 15x09 Coda, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, The Trap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22362919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theyregonnashowusthewayyy/pseuds/Theyregonnashowusthewayyy
Summary: What would have happened if Dean had persisted after Cas said he heard his prayer?What if Dean actually said “I love you?”
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 58





	1. Words Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry if this is formatted weird. I’m posting from mobile.

“Cas, I need to tell you something.” Dean started. “I-“ “I already know. I heard your prayer.” Cas breathed. The small smile on his face echoed through his words and all of his facial features. He looked 10 years younger. 

And it felt like coming home. 

He hadn’t seen it for so long and felt something he was subconsciously holding deep inside of him release and melt away. He felt warm and safe with Cas’ old presence back by his side. It was like nothing has changed. 

Dean was whole again. 

“Just wait. I- I need to say this out loud.” This. This is the only thing that had changed; He was sure of himself. Dean took a breath and looked at Cas’ face, searching for the answer he wouldn’t find if he didn’t go on. He let out his breath, shakily and ragged,

And leapt. 

“Cas, I- when you were gone, I wasn’t just sad. I felt like, like I let a piece of me walk out that door with you. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, all I could do was try to fill that void. And then I started eating. And drinking. And it never filled me up. 

I never stopped. 

I was trying to fill a void inside of me that I never thought I’d have again.

You weren’t dead but it God damned felt like you were. 

All I could feel was this pure fucking black nothingness. It was like being completely cut off from all emotions senses.

It was just pure fucking nothingness.

And then you called. And you were completely fine, which made me so happy because it was YOU, but at the same time, you weren't the same Cas I had grown to love over the past 11 years. I was so happy to hear from you, but now I wasn't even a blip on your screen. You didn't want anything to do with me."

The tears were really starting to flow now. Dean was furiously trying to wipe them away and keep his composure, but Cas calmly grabbed his hands and brought them down from his face to rest at his sides. Cas framed Dean's face with his hands while thumbing away the tears on his face. Dean smiled gratefully and continued. 

"And then I was feeling in the dark.

Trying to get a handhold, just something to save me from this personal Hell.

And then I saw you standing in the map room.

And I fell in love all over again. I couldn't stand it, you were there for Sam when I really couldn't. Like always, you gave up your freedom for Sam and me.

You're more than family to me.

You're the end of my line. I need you, not because of what you can do for me, but because of what you mean to me.

Everything.

And I love you

Completely.

Inevitably.

Ineffably.

And I can't go on without you."

Cas lowered his hands to take both of Dean's. He rubbed methodical circles into the backs of Dean's hands. Cas' smile had grown so much, had he ever seen Cas smile that big? It was definitely something he could get used to.

"Am- Can I kiss you?" Cas asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes." Dean said confidently; this was something Dean had thought about thousands of times. He was sure.

The kiss was chaste, pure, and nothing short of everything Dean had ever dreamed of. The way that Dean's cheeks and the tip of his nose burned as red as cherry wine, the elatting feeling of butterflies in his stomach, and how great it feels to have Cas' lips on his. The way Cas kissed him made him feel revered and just so right.

This is home.

And Dean is whole.

And then he isn't.

A deep, empty black enclosed the hand that Cas was using to play with the sleeve of Dean’s frayed jacket. He didn’t even look alarmed, he just had a smile that said “it’s okay, I love you, you can go on,” and so many more things that Dean would never get the chance to decipher. 

“I love you too.” Cas whispered, his voice was entirely too far away, and was drifting even more. The black entity was consuming the last part of Cas, swimming down his other arm to finally enclose his hand, and Cas pushed Dean away in through the rift as it closed.

Cas was gone and Dean stumbled into the bunker,

And fell apart.

Completely.

Inevitably.

Ineffably.


	2. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s an alternate *HAPPY* ending for y’all that weren’t happy with me for the sadness. Im sorry, I couldn’t resist.

“Cas, I need to tell you something.” Dean started. “I-“ “I already know. I heard your prayer.” Cas breathed. The small smile on his face echoed through his words and all of his facial features. He looked 10 years younger. 

And it felt like coming home. 

He hadn’t seen it for so long and felt something he was subconsciously holding deep inside of him release and melt away. He felt warm and safe with Cas’ old presence back by his side. It was like nothing has changed. 

Dean was whole again. 

“Just wait. I- I need to say this out loud.” This. This is the only thing that had changed; He was sure of himself. Dean took a breath and looked at Cas’ face, searching for the answer he wouldn’t find if he didn’t go on. He let out his breath, shakily and ragged,

And leapt. 

“Cas, I- when you were gone, I wasn’t just sad. I felt like, like I let a piece of me walk out that door with you. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t think, all I could do was try to fill that void. And then I started eating. And drinking. And it never filled me up. 

I never stopped. 

I was trying to fill a void inside of me that I never thought I’d have again.

You weren’t dead but it God damned felt like you were. 

All I could feel was this pure fucking black nothingness. It was like being completely cut off from all emotions senses.

It was just pure fucking nothingness.

And then you called. And you were completely fine, which made me so happy because it was YOU, but at the same time, you weren't the same Cas I had grown to love over the past 11 years. I was so happy to hear from you, but now I wasn't even a blip on your screen. You didn't want anything to do with me."

The tears were really starting to flow now. Dean was furiously trying to wipe them away and keep his composure, but Cas calmly grabbed his hands and brought them down from his face to rest at his sides. Cas framed Dean's face with his hands while thumbing away the tears on his face. Dean smiled gratefully and continued. 

"And then I was feeling in the dark.

Trying to get a handhold, just something to save me from this personal Hell.

And then I saw you standing in the map room.

And I fell in love all over again. I couldn't stand it, you were there for Sam when I really couldn't. Like always, you gave up your freedom for Sam and me.

You're more than family to me.

You're the end of my line. I need you, not because of what you can do for me, but because of what you mean to me.

Everything.

And I love you

Completely.

Inevitably.

Ineffably.

And I can't go on without you."

Cas lowered his hands to take both of Dean's. He rubbed methodical circles into the backs of Dean's hands. Cas' smile had grown so much, had he ever seen Cas smile that big? It was definitely something he could get used to.

"Am- Can I kiss you?" Cas asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes." Dean said confidently; this was something Dean had thought about thousands of times. He was sure.

The kiss was chaste, pure, and nothing short of everything Dean had ever dreamed of. The way that Dean's cheeks and the tip of his nose burned as red as cherry wine, the elatting feeling of butterflies in his stomach, and how great it feels to have Cas' lips on his. The way Cas kissed him made him feel revered and just so  right.

This is home.

And Dean is whole.

  
  


_ Alternate ending _

Cas grabs Dean’s hand and drags him back through the rift back to the bunker. The same place where fell in and out of love, lost each other and themselves, and had many conversations,

Spoken and unspoken. 

The rift closed as the stepped through, just in time. There they stood, facing each other with the weight of their entire relationship crashing down all around them, all of the things left unsaid, all of the fleeting looks shared, and it was finally happening. The one thing Dean has been wanting, for years,

_ And years _

was finally happening. Dean had never felt this way, sure, he’d been in love before, but never like this. This was so much deeper, he could feel it in a place

_ his soul _

that he couldn’t really place. All he knew was that it felt so  right. 

“Hey, we’ll figure all of this out okay? Once we go find Sam and Eileen.” Cas said, touching Dean’s elbow to bring him out of his thoughts. 

“Okay,” Dean breathed. He has unconsciously been leaning forward, into Cas’ own space, so he straightened up and got ready to finish this ritual that changed his life forever.

_ for the better.  _

There weren’t many things Dean knew so surely as the fact that he was 

_ Completely. _

_ Inevitably. _

_ Ineffably. _

In love.   
  



End file.
